The Random Bibliophile

by Renee Alexis

Renee Alexis
26, filipina, an introvert who loves young adult fantasy, brush pens, Taylor Swift, and Mobile Legends. Coffee runs in my bloodstream.

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Incoherent Thoughts at 1:52 AM

Closing a chapter and saying hello to a new one has always been a difficult thing for me. I have always loved the simplicity of having a routine life with bits of excitement in between the mundane. I disliked changes, especially the abrupt ones, because it scares me. The idea of heading into the unknown frightens me.

As I am typing this blog post entry on my phone, I am a thousand feet above the ground, riding a flying vessel that will take me to my homeland, the Philippines. I don't exactly know which timezone I am in now but it's currently 1:52 AM Dubai time. Our plane took off about 4 hours ago and I cannot seem to fall asleep. Maybe it's the uncomfortable economy seat I'm in or maybe it's the jitters I'm feeling in my gut because finally, after merely 2 years, I am going home.

I've grown accustomed to my life in Dubai. I had a job that gave me a reasonably comfortable life and made me able to help my family a little bit. I enjoyed the convenience of living in a highly progressive city, something the Philippines can never achieve in a hundred years, and this would probably be the thing I would miss the most. I've become comfortable in there despite the disadvantages I had. It's such a shame that this pandemic came about because if it hadn't, I wouldn't be on my way home now.

I think what I'm saying here is that although I am excited to go back to the Philippines, there is the anxiety I'm feeling because I know things have changed again. Questions like what lies ahead bother me constantly. How will everything pan out when I get home?

A shot I took in the wee hours of the morning

As we're traveling, I am hoping and praying that KC and I won't be faced with hurdles. I hope everything will go smoothly and that we will test negative in the Swab test. I hope we'll be able to book a flight to Mindanao as soon as we get the results. I hope that when we land in Laguindingan, we'll get home immediately. And I hope that we'll be allowed to just do a home quarantine. I am writing these all down so that these thoughts and prayers will manifest and happen. 

I'm excited to be home after some time. As the plane took off earlier and I saw Dubai growing smaller and smaller out my window, I realized how much I loved that city. Being in Dubai brought me opportunities that I never thought I'd get. I learned so much about myself in the past years I've lived in a foreign country. It opened my eyes to how the world works. It gave me a bigger perspective at how to look at the world. 

Dubai was a wonderful experience and I will cherish the lessons I learned from living there. I'm still undecided if I'd go back or not. My heart feels it's right to go home but if there'd be an opportunity knocking in my door that will tell me to go back, maybe I would. That would be another decision to make and another thought to ponder. Right now, I'm just really happy to be going home and seeing my family. 

I'll be writing a separate blog post about our journey home as soon as I'm home and settled. For now, dear reader, please wish us luck and pray for our safe journey. Thank you for dropping by my blog. xx


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