It was the end of a decade... but the start of an age.

Before I turn 26 tomorrow, I just thought I would sit down and relive what happened in the last 25 years of my life. What a life! And I'm not even half-way through it - hopefully.

The past decade has been a whim. Back in 2009, I remember I was just an incoming freshman, finding her way through the new city she just moved into. Everything was new and I didn't have friends to show me around. I was excited and at the same time scared by the fact that I was venturing into unknown territory. I grew up in a cocoon where I knew everything and everyone, and to be pushed out of my comfort zone was a huge change I was not prepared for.

Looking back, I've had so many fond memories I wish I could live through again. Memories like meeting my best friends for the first time, joining a small-time school pageant and winning it (!!!), earning money from my very first job, getting my diploma and celebrating that success with the people I love most, getting dolled up for our Junior Prom, shopping for back-to-school items with my mom and brother, singing along while my father plays the guitar during blackouts, the long bus rides home I use to take; singing lullabies to the twins to make them go to sleep; riding the bike and racing down the road with my brother and then getting a huge scrape on the knee after falling down; playing Mario Kart with my childhood best friend; falling in love for the first time; getting that passing grade I worked hard for; buying my first book. Simple, mundane things. 

In this last day of the year, despite being thousands of miles away from my family, I feel nostalgic reminiscing through the fleeting memories I had of what once was. Life is kinda tricky, don't you think? When I was younger, I wished I could speed up time so I can be a grown-up already and be as free as a bird. Now that I'm heading into my late 20's, oh how I wish I could go back. I would give everything up if I can go back to that life I had before. A life without all of its complexities today. A life where everything was simple and all I had to worry about were my grades and my chores at home.

It would seem inapt to say this myself, but I can pretty much say that I grew up well - character-wise. I'm far from perfect but my parents raised their children well and I will always be grateful for all the values they taught me. 

As I turn 26 tomorrow, I aspire to be more forgiving - in all aspects. More forgiving towards the people who wronged me, towards the people who irritated me with no apparent reason, towards people whom I get jealous to. More forgiving towards the things I want but can't have, towards the invisible forces that deny me the things that I want to happen, towards circumstantial things that give me all the unwanted trouble. And most of all, I want to be more forgiving to myself. More forgiving about the fact that I'm just human and I can't do everything; more forgiving about the fact that I, too, make mistakes; more forgiving about the fact that even if I'm already a grown-up, there are still a lot of things that I do not know and have yet to learn. 

I have been blessed to have been given another year to work on and improve myself. 2019 has molded and shaped me into a whole other figure I didn't expect I could be. And the brokenness I experienced was just another challenge that made my faith even stronger than before. 

In the new year that's about to come, I wish for emotional and spiritual growth, for prosperity, and always, for happiness. A lot of things are about to come my way, I feel it. And I know that with God beside me, anything is possible. 

Happy New Year, everyone! xx