Days have been moving faster and I just woke up one day realizing that I've been away from home for 6 months now. I've been living in Dubai for half a year and it's been well so far. I can say that I've adjusted with the lifestyle and rules here. Although everything still feels surreal. Every morning when I walk from my home to the office, I am still amazed that I am living here already, that I am breathing foreign air, that I am existing in a place far, far away from where I used to be.

I am just so thankful that up till now, I'm doing fairly well (ma, pa, no need to worry about me, I'm still healthy - physically HAHA). Financially wise, albeit the debts that I still have to pay, I'm provided with what I need. I mean, I wasn't thrown to struggle so much. I got here last November, I didn't have any problem going through immigration and then a month later, I was hired. It was like the Lord was really guiding me to go away, to go someplace that I know nothing about - even though I was not ready for any of it. It was like, I was meant to be here one way or another. Sometimes, though, I have the intense feeling of wanting to go home. I miss my family, I miss the simple life at my old home. I miss my old life when I could just do whatever I like and I wasn't strapped down to a routine. But maybe, I was due to have changes in my life. Huge changes.

Being away from everything I was familiar with, I learned how much everything meant to me. I learned that our lives, at least mine, was designed and written by God and that I just have to let him guide me through the path that I am supposed to take no matter how painful it is. That even though I am scared AF, if it was the will of the Lord, then I just have to trust Him and in Him that He will take care of me and will provide me with everything that I need. Thinking about how far I've come, I get very emotional because I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Him. I've lost so much but I still wake up every day with the hope that there's something I will gain from of all the pain and hurt that I'm going through.

Although I'm still emotionally unstable and that I'm still struggling to be mentally okay, I'm getting by. It's tough but I don't forget to be grateful for all the blessings that I've been given. It's a good thing that even most days are bad, there are days that are surprisingly good. And having all those bad days makes me appreciate the good days more.

I don't know until when this pain will be with me, I just hope that I would come out of it alive. I know God is working to heal my broken soul and I know that He will never abandon me. I'm thankful that I have family and friends. They keep me going despite me wanting to give up. I am hoping that all of what I'm going through right now will end someday. And I hope I will have the strength to wait for that day until it comes.

Until then, I'll be here, surviving every day. xx