Funny how much a year can change a person. This time last year, I was at home spending and celebrating the new year and my birthday with my loved ones. I can still remember how happy and how contented I was even with the simple celebration we had. I was in a much different state of mind and of heart.

Looking back, there were a lot of things I encountered that gave me valuable life lessons. Lessons that I had to learn the hard way and had got me out of my comfort zone. 2018 has been life-changing for me, to say the least, and in more ways than one, it has been quite unforgettable.

If you have read my previous post, you've learned that I was left by the person I was with for half a decade. It was the toughest, most difficult, most heartbreaking thing I had to go through in my lifetime and I thought I wouldn't come out of it alive. 2018 has brought me pain that was too much to bear. I made decisions that I never thought I would make before.

Today, as I turn 25, I look back throughout the year that was with a reminiscent mind. I realized that despite everything, despite the pain, despite the struggles, despite the torture of overthinking and anxiety, despite the depression, despite the challenges I faced, I am still blessed enough to be still alive and breathing. Despite everything, there are still so many things I'm thankful for.

2018 has been a year of tears, of frustrations, and of soooo many self-realizations.  Of the many things I've learned in the past year, here are some that I can put into words:

1. Heartbreak isn't easy and shouldn't be romanticized.
2. Some people are just really passersby and aren't meant to stay in your life.
3. It's okay to feel sad and not be okay and you don't have to pretend you are to please other people. 
4. It's okay to think of yourself first sometimes.
5. Sometimes, the things you expect to happen in life won't happen and you just have to accept it.
6. It's okay to fight for what you believe in.
7. But sometimes, you need to know when it's time you let go and accept the truth. Because sometimes, letting go is easier than holding on.
8. Happiness is a choice but it is also a state of mind. You cannot always choose to be happy because there will be times that things become too much to bear. And it's okay to be sad because we are just human beings after all.
9. Realize that there are friends who will be there for you if you just open yourself up to them. When you are having a bad time, it's okay to ask for an extra ear to listen to your fears and frustrations. Keeping things all to yourself is okay too, but there are times that you have to realize that you will need someone's presence to help you out.
10. I've learned that some things aren't just meant to be and maybe, that's okay because better things will come.
11. Enjoy the little things in life and don't take them for granted. Life happens when you are "busy". Pause and make time to see your surroundings and smell the flowers.
12. Show your appreciation to the people who have made a mark in your life before it's too late.
13. Be kind, it's free.
14. Be contented and be thankful for what you have.
15. It's okay to step out of your comfort zone. 
16. It's okay to try something new even if you are scared out of your mind about it.
17. It's okay to leave something and/or someone behind even if they meant the world to you. If that something or someone just keeps on hurting you and making you feel sad, it's okay that you let go and move on.
18. Learn to leave a little love for yourself. Don't give out all of your heart, else you'll be left with nothing in the end.
19. Earthly things are temporary. Don't be hung up on something or someone who doesn't even give their time of the day for you.
20. Loving is not a mistake. It's okay to love someone wholeheartedly but if things can't be fixed anymore, it's okay to give up when you know you've given your all trying to work things out.
21. Things do happen for a reason. You may not know why for now, but someday, you'll look back and everything will just fall into place and you'll understand why those things had to happen.
22. Know that in the end, there will always be someone who will be there for you no matter what. Jesus. 💖