The Random Bibliophile

by Renee Alexis

Renee Alexis
20-something Filipina, an introvert who loves young adult fiction, brush pens, Taylor Swift, and BTS. Coffee runs in my bloodstream.


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2023 Reading Challenge

2023 Reading Challenge
Renee Alexis has read 0 books toward her goal of 30 books.

Still Stuck

Dreams. I don't know if I still have one but earlier today, my colleague talked to me about what he wants to become out of the blue. His dream was to be a cabin crew and he was just getting by with this job just so he could graduate and achieve his dream.

It got me into thinking. What's my dream? Back in my college days, I only have one dream and that is to graduate engineering and make my parents proud. After graduating, the next milestone was to pass the board exam and become a licensed engineer. And then when I got that, the next step would be finding a job that would provide me the life I want and live the dream.

After achieving all of those, one would think that that was it. That was the end of the line and you would be living happily ever after. Wrong. My life did not stop there, my life kept going on. And I didn't feel like I was living the dream. After all, it was just another chapter and I had to continue living and continue doing what I was doing. But was that really what I was supposed to be doing? I didn't find my purpose when I was working in that field. I felt incapable and lacking. I felt inept.

It was a struggle for me when I got stuck in that plateau. I felt stagnant and I didn't like it. There was nothing more I wanted to reach. Or there is but I don't know how to reach for it.

What's my dream? I ask myself that today. And in every day that passes, I don't think I'm closer to getting the answer to that question. I guess after two years, I'm still stuck.


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