The Random Bibliophile

by Renee Alexis

Renee Alexis
20-something Filipina, an introvert who loves young adult fiction, brush pens, Taylor Swift, and BTS. Coffee runs in my bloodstream.

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2021 Reading Challenge

2021 Reading Challenge
Renee Alexis has read 0 books toward her goal of 50 books.
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This is not goodbye

This is not goodbye - Renee Alexis

 Hi, blog and blog readers out there. It's me (who else?).

I've been thinking...

I've been blogging for a decade, I think? Or is it more than that now?

I've always loved writing down my thoughts and sharing them in this little space. Writing has been second nature to me, just like breathing and drinking water. I've always resorted to writing down my thoughts and feelings because it's the only way I know how to express them. I'm not big on speaking. I have incoherent thoughts and to make sense of them, I have to write them down in words and sort them out.

Blogging has been my safe space and for years, it's been my coping mechanism whenever I feel happy or sad or excited or depressed or overwhelmed. I never thought these thoughts would come to my head but here they are.

I'm going on a hiatus, an indefinite one. I feel like what I've been writing on my blog does not make so much sense anymore these days. I don't see how I'm contributing to the blogging universe and I feel like an imposter who just forces herself to write for the sake of updating her blog. I feel sad because I don't want to abandon this space, but I also feel bad if I just keep on updating it without really having my heart in the entries I write.

I guess this is me falling out of love with something I've cherished so much for so many years and I just didn't have the heart to admit it. Come to think of it, I also went on a blogging hiatus last 2013-2015, so maybe what I need right now is to take a step back and rest. Maybe a little break will give me the chance to recuperate and find the reason why I loved blogging so much.

I don't hate it, don't get me wrong. But these days, I'm not sure anymore why I still do this. I just don't see the value of me blogging. I lost the spark inside of me. The spark that always ignites when I am itching to open a blank entry and type my heart away to compose a new blog. 

I love this space with all my heart. I've spent time and effort to get it to what it is today and this is me not saying goodbye to it because this blog is my baby. This is me telling myself to take a time off to think and ponder things. I'll be checking in and out for sure and I hope I'll rediscover my love for blogging again. 

If you need to reach me, I'm most active on Twitter. :) You guys take care. xx

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