My brother and I have a two-year gap. We grew up pretty close, being each other's playmates, being each other's punching bags whenever we have disagreements. I'm the kind of sister who teases her siblings every chance she gets and all my siblings have countless of stories when you ask them about how I am as a "bully" sister. LOL

I have 3 siblings, but the one I have the most disagreements with was my brother who is two years younger than me. We have a love-hate relationship. We fight over television channels, we fight over who gets the chicken legs, we fight over chores, we fight over who gets to sit at which seat, we fight over pillows and just about everything under the sun. We have such different vibes and we were never the two-peas-in-a-pod kind of siblings. 

There came a time when I started disliking him and then eventually hated him with all of my guts. It was a dark time for our family. My brother did things that hurt my parents and as the elder sister who saw everything happen right before my eyes, who saw my mother cry, who saw my father shake in anger, I took it upon myself to be the light. I strived to become something that would at least make my parents smile despite the problems that my brother caused. For this, I really hated him. I disassociated myself from him, letting myself succumb to the anger and ignoring his existence for years.

I finished school and started working. I got to experience more and I got to live more. Eventually, the anger that was associated with my brother slowly dissipated until a bud of forgiveness sprouted. I nurtured this sprout.

Growth does come with maturity and a sense of understanding. I used to look at my brother as someone who was just a nuisance. Somehow I forgot that he, too, had his own struggles. 

I'm glad today that, despite our messy history, we got back to talking again. Time healed me. I hang out with my brother from time to time today—something I never could imagine a few years back. I hope he had learned his lesson and that he'll work on himself to become a better person. After all, we are all just trying here. xx